I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
