Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
