I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You pole danced in your parka.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
