I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
