and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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