1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
