Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
