Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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