i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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