I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
