Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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