careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize