He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
