rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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