i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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