My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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