He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
