Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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