Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
