Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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