sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
