for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i out mim tonsoeep
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