I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
