she smelled like a LAN party
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
