hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
