He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
