just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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