So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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