Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
