doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
