I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
