The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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