I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There r osticjed everywhere
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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