i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
