the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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