he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
