i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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