i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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