WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
where does the pee come out of this thing
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
