You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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