I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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