Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
