she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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