i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
