I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
