Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
