sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
