you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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