Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
not ubering you a puppy
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize