I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
