i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So vagazzling was a success
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
