and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It's like God shit irony all over that family
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
