got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
