I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I skipped work to stalk him.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
