i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
