Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
