So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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