Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize