I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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