Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
