you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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