so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
