It was confusing and full of hummus
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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