theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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