You smell like a Billy Joel song
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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