garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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