Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
